Dating . . . 

Lately, almost all my single friends have had the same tune: Depression, Loneliness, Frustration, Finance or the lack of it.

Sigh. I’ve been there and I know exactly what they mean. Thing is, there’s so much misinformation out there on how to be truly happy, how to be strong, how to be attractive. Sigh. What’s a person to do? Have you ever heard that saying; “The Bad girls finish first and the Good guys never make it” or some thing along those lines??? Yes, it most often looks that way doesn’t it? 

The thing is, it looks that way. But dear lady, the bad girl isnt exactly the girl who f**ks around. She’s the one who has finally understood herself, recognised her worth, identified the personality that works with her, respects her finances and fights for her stance. She’s a tigress and she wears her stripes proudly and won’t let any man take her for a meaningless spin. She seems mean, but, she’s got her act together and she’s not afraid of letting the world know. She’s a Boss, she views her relationships as a merger and she fights for her stakes. She’s not interested in takeovers and she loathes time wasters. She’s gained enough experience to spot them ASAP. 

Rule the world
On top

Is she a party-girl? She just does what she wants because she’s finally recognised what makes her happy and hey, you only live once, right? She knows she can love fiercely, because she has and she’s chosen to come out stronger, learn from her past, redefine her choices and move on. Does she sound perfect? No! She’s anything, but, unless your idea of perfection is strength. Is she soft? She’s not marshmallow.

Does she wait for men? In your dreams, buster. Life moves fast and so does she. Does she change her life for a lover? Hahaha. Take her as she is and she’ll love you fiercely. She’ll help you grow. Does she have lovers? Wife her and she’ll forsake all others for you. Does she do commitment? Well, give her the rings and the marriage certificate and she will, otherwise, you both are just speaking hypothetically. Why make the same mistake over and over again ecmxpecting a different result each time? She’s not stupid. She learns and restrategises. Is she ambitious? Hey, who doesn’t love the good life? Why do you think she saves portions of her Money for investment portfolios? Is she materialistic? Well, the man doesn’t have to be Bill Gates, Zuckerberg, or JayZ, he just needs to be able to afford the basics of the good life: a comfortable home, vacation abroad (doesn’t matter much how they travel), an expense account, savings and some change. 

Is she comfortable in her sexuality? Oh yes!!! She knows what she likes and how she likes it. Is she driven? Hey, haven’t you ever met a Boss before? Does she know her powers? She’s no Sleeping Beauty, she’s a Goddess and the universe is hers to command and command, she does!

Don’t worry, it took me a while to figure this out, but once I did, it all made sense and I got my testimony. Have you seen The Game of Thrones? Do you remember the initial Daenerys? Meek, quiet, submissive, afraid to ruffle any feathers and then she discovered her Feminity and the powers she wield and wield it she did, she understood her wild man and got him to really appreciate her. She thought her life was over when Khal Drogo died. She submitted to being burnt alive with his body, asking for only one thing; that her dragon eggs be burnt with them. Well, imagine everyone’s amazement when she rose again from what should have been her ashes. She rose with her dragons, she rose a stronger woman fully aware of her powers. No more meekness or submission to fate, she makes her own fate, thank you. 

The Khal and Khaleesi
The Unburnt

Oh what about Arya Stark? Sweet, impulsive, determined and seemingly strong little girl watching her father killed, her mother and brother murdered? She quickly learnt to trust her instincts, let go of her weaknesses and gain strength and cunning. Now, she’s the most dangerous one in the cast because she deceived with her appearance. 

Arya Stark

And there’s Sanza Stark. Hungry for love and power, fame and wealth. It took her a while to learn her powers, but in the end, she did. She discovered herself and she’s become her own Queen. 

Do you see where I’m going with this? You need to find yourself, know yourself, arm yourself and guard yourself before you can really recognise who is worthy of you. And when that person who is worthy comes along, you mustn’t lose your advantage over every other distraction out there, you must remain true to yourself. Be a Boss, Be a Queen, and please do not forget that Bosses who want to build a Fortune500 conglomerate have other Bosses who they answer to. Queens have others who they defer to. This is a balance of powers to ensure no one gets carried away. Your boss would be your partner (give that concession when you get the official title of wife or husband and not before). Otherwise, you could suffer a coup or takeover and lose big. In plain words . . . Be a Boss, be humble and truthful, and companionable then always know when to submit. 

Again, find yourself, know yourself, arm yourself and guard yourself. Reassess your priorities and speak to the universe through your words, emotions and actions. Finish last, finish first, but finish well. 

The lady Val

Have an amazing new week. 

3 thoughts on “Dating . . . 

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